Amnesia Read online

  "Uh-huh. You in me. Filling me up. Fuck. Jerry. Love."

  "Thaine... Shut up." JJ's mouth closed over his, tongue pushing in deep, hand pulling hard.

  He shot, just like that, eyes rolling as his hips pumped.

  "Oh, fuck, baby, you smell good." JJ's hand worked him through the aftershock and then JJ lifted his hand, licking it clean. "Taste good, too."

  He just whimpered, fingers still working JJ's prick. JJ took his mouth again, started sucking on his tongue, hips pushing that sweet heat through his hand. He kept working, the muscles in his arm shaking with a sudden rush of tired, kept trying to push JJ over the edge, make his lover come.

  He knew it would be soon, he could see the flush climbing up along JJ's neck and into his face. He deepened the kiss, thumb working the tip of JJ's prick harder. JJ's nostrils flared, a low sound coming from his throat. Then JJ went stiff and heat spilled over his hand, the scent of JJ's come joining his own.

  "Yeah. Yeah, Jer. Just like that."

  JJ moaned, sort of half slumping against him. "Sweet, baby."

  "Uh-huh. Good."

  "Yeah."

  JJ worked his gown back down his body, and then slid the covers up over him. Then the man was tucking himself back into his pants. It a moment he'd be sliding away. Thaine held on a second, just a second.

  JJ sighed softly, almost imperceptibly, and settled against him, head against his shoulder. "Ten minutes."

  "Ten minutes. 'kay. Rest."

  JJ nodded. "Sleep, T. I'll watch over you."

  "'kay. Works. Make sure them bulls don't come hunting me."

  "They won't, T. They won't."

  JJ was warm and solid all along his side. Warm and solid and fucking there. Just like he'd been expecting.

  Just like it oughtta be.

  Chapter Six

  Drew couldn't believe he was walking out of Thaine's room and leaving the man's ex in there with him. The man Thaine thought he was still with. He heard the door close behind him and stopped, shaking his head. He should be in there with Thaine, supporting his lover in his time of need. This wasn't right.

  "Hey, bud. How you doing?" That deep, warm voice was familiar, comforting. Sympathetic. Thank God for Jesse. The man was about the only thing keeping him from crying like a stupid kid.

  "I don't know," he admitted, managing to find a bit of a smile for Jesse. "It doesn't seem real."

  "No shit. None of this shit seems right or real or nothin'. You want to take a ride?"

  He nodded, getting out of there suddenly sounding really good. "Yeah. I do."

  "'kay. My truck's right down there. Let's get on the road for a minute." Jesse's fingers touched his arm, then disappeared.

  "Thanks," he murmured. "You know. For everything."

  "Whatever you need, Drew." Jesse had the slightest limp from the last bull ride the man ever had.

  He wondered if Thaine had ridden his last bull, wondered how long this amnesia shit was going to go on. "I haven't got a clue what that might be, Jesse."

  They headed out to the parking lot, the evening air cool, a relief after the recycled air in the hospital.

  "We'll figure it out. I swear."

  "You make it sound easy." He prayed it would be.

  "You know what they say about God and doors and windows, bud."

  "You think he's not going to get his memory back?" It was hard to say, hard to express the thing that scared him the most. He'd been prepared for Thaine to get hurt. Prepared for him to be killed even. Well, as prepared as a man could be for that kind of thing. This... he wasn't prepared for this. Even after twenty four hours of it, he wasn't prepared for it.

  "Surely he will." Jesse didn't sound so sure, though.

  Drew leaned against Jesse's truck suddenly breathless and a little shaky. "Shit. Shit, I don't know if I can keep pretending everything's gonna be fine, Jesse."

  "Hey. Hey, breathe, yeah? Come on. In the truck and breathe."

  He let Jesse guide him up into the truck and sort of put his head on his knees, just breathing like he'd been told. "Sorry," he muttered. "Didn't mean to lose it."

  Jesse patted his back. "'s’okay. It's been a hell of a few days."

  "It's like I never even existed. Just like that he cut me out of his life. I don't understand it. Was it that traumatic being with me?"

  "No, man. He was fond of you, you could tell."

  "Thanks, Jesse." Drew kind of shook himself a little and looked around. They were still in the parking lot.

  Right. He had to get over himself. Thaine was alive and sooner or later his lover was going to remember him. Drew just had to have faith.

  "Maybe we should take a page out of his book, yeah? Forget about all this for awhile. Go somewhere and do something."

  "Hell, yeah. Let's go drive.” Jesse started the truck up, pulled out onto I-30, heading toward Dallas proper.

  Drew leaned over and flicked on the radio, Willie Nelson filling the cab. With a sigh, he leaned back against the headrest and watched the scenery go whizzing by. Jesse was easy to be with, whether you were just hanging out or dealing with shit.

  They drove and drove, heading through the canyon downtown, over toward the West End. It was starting to get busy, so Jesse just kept going, heading towards the restaurants on Greenville Avenue.

  He wasn't sure if he could get much down, but having dinner with Jesse sounded good, easy and relaxing. Just two friends going out for a meal.

  "How're your bulls?" he asked, finally breaking the silence.

  "Doing good. Doing real good. Daisy's Bud is gonna calve real soon and I think Victrola's going buck his way to the top." Jesse gave him a grin, a real smile. "It's a fun fucking business, man. I finally don't have to worry about bills and I do love having a house that's on a slab."

  "I bet it beats getting thrown off them bulls' backs, too."

  Jesse had been a bullrider himself back in the day. Not the best, but steady, solid, from what Thaine said.

  "I'd rather breed 'em than ride 'em. Mexican? Chinese?"

  "Whatever you'd like, Jesse. I'm easy. Oh, except for Italian. I always get gassy with Italian." Thaine had teased him something awful that one night.

  "Well, we can't have that. I'd hate for you to explode." Jesse winked, pulled into a little Mexican joint. "Come on. I want queso."

  He chuckled. "Yeah, I'd hate for me to explode, too. And queso sounds good." Nice and easy and normal.

  "Yeah. Queso, a little guacamole and a shit load of beer." Jesse winked again.

  Drew nodded. "Shit yeah. That'll go down really well." He smiled and climbed out of the truck, shivering a little. The temperature had dropped a lot with the sun gone down.

  "Feels like rain. They need it; the hay prices'll be killer without it."

  "That'll affect your profit margin some. I've always loved how it’s all connected, you know? You can't have something happen over here without everything else changing." Like Thaine not remembering. He shook his head -- he wasn't going there tonight, he was supposed to be relaxing, forgetting about it for awhile.

  "Yep. God keeps us all in a big circle." Jesse smiled at the hostess, tipped his hat. "Two, please."

  Drew hadn't thought he was going to be able to eat much, but now that they were here, his stomach was growling and he found himself looking forward to their dinner. He followed Jesse and the waitress, finding himself watching the way Jesse's ass moved in his jeans. Drew shook himself. Whoa.

  It looked fine, though. Jesse was pure cowboy - wide-shoulders and tiny, tiny butt just shaking back and forth. His cock firmed a little, and he tried to ignore it. He'd been worried and sitting by himself in a hospital room for a couple days now, it was only natural he was feeling a little needy.

  This was the first time he'd really noticed Jesse's ass like that though. Damn.

  Jesse sat, smiling at him, looking at him. Really looking at him. He sat slowly across from Jesse, smiling back, not just a fake smile either, despite everything it was real, honest. W
ith hardly a word Jesse made him feel so much better.

  "Drinks to start?" The waitress asked and Drew nodded absently.

  "Two Bud Lights, please ma'am, and a big ole bowl of queso."

  He grinned; Jesse to the rescue. Again. "And guacamole."

  "Oh, hell yes." Jesse winked over, those eyes just twinkling.

  "Queso and guacamole the cure to all ills, Jesse?"

  "That and beer, buddy. That and beer."

  "Then bring it on." He leaned back, fingers tapping against the table in time to the music.

  Jesse chuckled, nodding along, just sort of resting, relaxing in the booth. It was nice, doing something normal, made it easy to pretend that everything was just fine.

  The food and booze started coming, Jesse making him laugh, making him feel good. The salsa was hot and the queso wasn't bad at all. And more than Jesse's ass was looking good. Drew kept pushing it away when he noticed, but the more beer he drank, the harder it was to ignore.

  They ordered fajitas, sharing the chicken and the beef, chasing the peppers and onions across the skillet. He was laughing, fork working for that last onion, hand knocking Jesse's to the side.

  Jesse's laugh was deep and husky, that smile just lighting up the man's face. "Oh, man. That means you're buying sopapillas."

  He grinned wide. That sounded just fine to him. "I didn't know you had a sweet tooth, Jesse."

  "Oh, man. You know it. Chocolate, honey, pies - I love 'em all."

  "I'll have to remember that." Drew wasn't quite sure why, but it seemed important somehow.

  The waitress came by to take away their plates. "Sopapillas, please. And a couple more beers. One for my friend, too."

  "Yeah. One more'll work."

  He nodded -- the beer was working for him all right, making him feel light and floaty. It didn't really dull the pain of what was going on with Thaine, but it made it real easy to not think about it.

  He smiled over at Jesse. "You've got nice eyes, Jesse. Almost as nice as your ass."

  Jesse's cheeks heated, head ducking. "Thanks, man."

  His own cheeks got hot when he realized what he'd said, and he grabbed his beer, sucking the last few drops out of the bottle.

  "'s’okay. It's not bad to hear."

  He nodded. No, he supposed it wasn't. Still, it wasn't polite, making remarks like that to your lover's best friend.

  Jesse smiled, leaning back a little bit, fingers playing with the last few chips in the basket. Drew watched them, fascinated by the movements. Funny, he'd never noticed Jesse's hands before. They were large, solid. The knuckles were scarred, swollen, the skin leathered and tan. A working man's hands. Strong hands.

  Drew sighed and blinked, forcing his attention back up to Jesse's face. Man, he'd had too much beer after too much stress over Thaine. Of course, just looking into those warm eyes, the way Jesse looked at him, didn't help. They were nice eyes. And it made him feel special, that look.

  He wondered why he'd never really noticed Jesse's eyes before. He smiled at Jesse.

  Jesse smiled back. "Here come the sopapillas, bud."

  "Oh, cool." He nodded, glad of the distraction. Things were getting a little weird there.

  He dug in, getting honey on his fingers and lips, licking it off enthusiastically.

  Jesse chuckled. "Looks like I'm not the only one with the sweet tooth."

  "No, but I knew about mine already." He grinned and ran his finger through the honey on the plate, bringing it to his mouth and licking it off and then sucking on his finger to make sure he'd gotten it all.

  Jesse made an odd little sound, shifting in the seat.

  He glanced up, frowning. "You okay, man?" He didn't think he remembered how to do the Heimlich, so he sure as hell hoped the man wasn't choking.

  "Yeah. Yeah, bud. I'm fine. You want another?"

  "Sopapilla or brew?" He grinned and nodded. "Yes, to both." If he had too many more he'd fall right asleep, which didn't sound bad at all.

  "Okay. Ma'am. I need another order of dessert, a beer for him and a cup of Joe for me."

  "You're making me drink alone?"

  "I'm driving."

  He blinked, trying to put it together and then grinned. "Oh, right. Man, maybe I should stop; I seem to have lost a few brain cells here."

  "Oh, hey. Go ahead, have one more. It'll help you sleep tonight."

  "That's what I was thinking." He nodded and blinked some more. "I slept like shit last night. And the night before that. And the couple nights before that. It's been shit. This whole thing. You're the only thing that's made it tolerable."

  "You can sleep at my trailer, Drew, in a real bed."

  "You think that would be okay? Not to stay with him? I mean that first night he was out of it, but tonight..." His voice faded away. "Tonight he's got someone else. Yeah, Jesse, I'll take you up on that offer. And beer doesn't give me hangovers, so I promise not to puke in your bed tomorrow morning."

  "Oh, that's a comfort. Come on, bud. Breathe."

  "I'm breathing, Jesse. I'm breathing." Man, he'd managed to kind of forget for awhile, to not care for awhile. He grabbed his beer and downed half of it, wanting that back.

  "Cool. Man, this is good coffee."

  "This is a good spot. I'll have to remember it." Thaine loved Mexican.

  "Mm-hmm. The salsa was good. One too few onions though."

  "I suppose you can do it better. I bet you do a lot of things better." Besides, less onions meant better kisses. Not that he was going to be kissing anyone tonight. Just. Yeah.

  "Maybe. I sure try, buddy."

  "You're a good man, Jesse. Thaine's lucky to have you as a friend. Me, too. I mean we are friends, right? You're not just being nice to me 'cause I'm with Thaine, are you?"

  "Drew, me being good to you ain't got nothing to do with Thaine." One of those hands patted his.

  "Oh." He turned his hand and grabbed onto Jesse's. "Thanks, man."

  "Anytime." God, Jesse looked so serious, so solemn.

  He squeezed Jesse's hand and blinked hard. Damn, he'd had too much beer, feeling all soft and mushy inside. They were having a night away from it and he was not going to start crying.

  He wiped quickly at his eyes. "Are there more sopapillas?"

  "You know it. Honey. Butter. Cinnamon. Eat up, cowboy."

  He smiled and reached for one, trying to recapture the easy, relaxed mood. Jesse opened up the honey, turned it up on end, pouring it over his dessert. He reached out and caught some of the drops, bringing his fingers back to his lips. There was something about the honey and beer that just tickled his taste buds.

  Or maybe it was just the company.

  "That looks good." Jesse winked, the deep voice husky.

  "It is." He swept his fingers through the honey on the plate. "Want some?"

  "Don't tempt me, Drew. Eat your dessert.'

  "Watching your weight?" Drew asked, bringing his fingers back to his mouth and sucking them clean, one by one.

  "Yeah. I gotta stay slim and studly, you know?"

  "Oh, you sly dog. Are you courting someone, Jesse Lordes?"

  "Me? No. No. I... I'm waiting for someone."

  "Yeah? You shouldn't have to wait, Jesse. You've got a lot to offer. And you're a good man." Didn't seem right, Jesse waiting to declare himself.

  "Thanks, bud. I appreciate it."

  "Just the truth, Jesse."

  He finished up the sopapillas and downed the rest of his beer. "Man, I'm as full as a tick on a boar."

  "You ready to take a ride, maybe catch a movie?"

  "Yeah. Dinner and a movie. That sounds fine, Jesse." Something normal.

  "Cool." Jesse handed the waitress a couple three bills. "Let's go."

  He got up, swaying just a touch before he found his balance.

  Jesse led him out, hand right at his elbow. "Easy now."

  He nodded. "I'm good. I'm good." He chuckled, leaning just a little into Jesse. "Mostly."

  Jesse chuckled, grinned, fingers on th
e small of his back. "Pretty much."

  It felt good, warm. "So what's playing, Jesse? You know what? I don't even know what kind of movies you like." He shook his head. There was lots of stuff about Jesse he didn't know. Which probably made sense, but now Jesse was being such a stand up guy, was making this bearable for him.